1. Parents often return home much later than established. It’s OK to be late occasionally, and as long as you call when you are running behind, most nannies will have no problem with it. If you find that you are late more than once a week, every week, it is time to revisit the working hours and have a frank discussion with your nanny.
2. The caregiver is not paid on time. Enough said. Take out cash the day before, make arrangements for automatic withdrawals from your account or email the salary from your account straight to hers – just make sure you are on time. If you are late, apologize, offer a small compensation and ensure it does not happen again.
3. If the caregiver is ill, you still expect her to work. This is a tough one. You may not have arranged back-up for the rare instances when this occurs but do try to stay home with your child and let the caregiver recover. In the long run it’s easier than having your child get sick as well.
4. The family ignores the caregiver’s concerns about the children. If your nanny brings something to your attention, do listen. They are observing the children so many hours every day, they will pick up on subtle hints when something is awry.
5. The caregiver is expected to be on duty every minute and she has no privacy. Everyone needs a break – for lunch, coffee, a minute of silence, a call to family or friends, to book an appointment or just to sit down and rest. Caring for children and in many cases doing the bulk of the housework is exhausting. Make sure that your nanny gets the space and time to recharge during the day.
6. The family does not ask for feedback and ignores job satisfaction issues. We have a weekly family dinner with our nanny when we talk about everything – our son’s health and development, family news and plans, any upcoming medical appointments, events, vacation days and we make sure to inquire about her satisfaction with the job, any particular frustrations, etc. If there was any issue during the previous week we analyze it and decide on a future course of action so everyone is aware of the expectations and we avoid facing the same problem.
7. The family does not leave sufficient funds to cover the costs of outings (for public transportation or gas, lunch, admission fees etc.) You will find that outings are quickly discontinued if that happens and your children are the ones missing out on fun, learning experiences. Whether you create a weekly budget or leave appropriate amounts every morning, make sure that you cover the outing fees.
8. The family expects the caregiver to work overtime (particularly on weekends) with no advance notice. Most nannies will accept this for a little while – out of devotion to the children, the need for extra funds or both. But they also likely have a social life during the weekend and won’t be willing to give up their private time on a regular basis, particularly with no sufficient advance notice (a week is best – three days is minimum). In the case of a family emergency, these rules do not apply – your nanny will most likely offer whatever assistance she can.
9. The family is not supportive of the caregiver when the children are around, undermining her authority. Just like the parents must present a united and harmonious unit in front of the children, whether they are in perfect agreement or not, the nanny must also be seen and respected as an authority figure if she is to discipline and educate the children. Discuss your differences and find solutions outside of the children’s hearings. Unless she has meted out discipline in a manner completely contrary to your beliefs, you should stand by the nanny’s decisions.
10. The family offers no praise or incentives (raises, bonuses, gifts at birthdays or holidays). Everyone likes to be appreciated. Offering praise, acknowledging a birthday or holiday with a gift, giving small tokens like chocolates or movie tickets for St. Valentine or after a period of prolonged overtime or weekend work is a small way to show your gratitude. After a year on the job you should offer a bonus or small raise.
11. The family involves the caregiver in private arguments or has disagreements in front of her. This is confusing and upsetting to a nanny. Imagine your boss and her spouse arguing in front of you!! Keep your private life private and do not involve the nanny in your relationship.
12. The family does not accommodate reasonable requests for time off for doctors’ appointments, visits to the immigration department, etc. Establish ground rules from the start – how much advance notice you want for time off but try to be flexible. The doctors, dentists and government workers tend to make their own schedules – can’t much argue with them…
13. The parents (or adult children, in the case of elderly patients) issue conflicting instructions. Having ground rules (in our case, written ones) is extremely helpful. If you cover the main topics of nutrition, hygiene, manners, discipline and chores there should be little room for disagreements later. Having everything written down ensures that everyone stays on the same page and if a change is required, everyone is aware of it.
Retaining a well-trained, competent and loving caregiver will save you time and money in the long run. It will also ensure that your children benefit from constant – and consistent care. Avoiding these 13 common nanny complaints will ensure that your family and your nanny enjoy a long and happy relationship.
by Beatrice Lawson of www.PremierCaregivers.ca All Rights reserved
Premier Caregivers recruits caregivers for highly selective GTA families. For more information, articles, speaking engagements and reprint guidelines please email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , articles, speaking engagements and reprint guidelines please email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
